You Need To Be Clever To Get An Ex Back

You will want them to think that they are reacting normally and that YOU are reacting normally. (and you should be) In essence, you need to rethink your definition of "normal".

Trying to figure out how to get back an ex is something that many people try to do who weren’t ready for the relationship or marriage to end. Any divorce or break up usually has one person that is still desperate to hang on to the relationship. It may be obvious to the person that wanted to "move on" that their partner wasn’t ready to see an end to things. In essence, they won't be (or aren't) surprised by the fact that their ex is trying to get them back.

You need to be CLEVER!. you need to do things that make it look like you really are ready to move on - and that you aren’t just trying to get an ex back. Have fun. Really! Go out with friends and have a blast. Don’t try and rub their nose in it. Don't be obnoxious! This is a person that you say you love and the LAST thing you want to be is false with them in a way that is going to come back later and bite you in the rear! Be obvious to their friends, though, that you are going out and having fun. Word will get back to your ex that you are back in the social scene and if you are moving forward faster than what they are, it just might bother them.

When the two of you do talk, don’t fill your ex's head with all these things that you are doing. Just let them know that you are happy in a natural way. It will be easy to try and make them feel jealous, but you don't want the green monster to take them over either!. This may happen anyway. Try and make it seem like their life is worth being happy about as well. It may not seem like it but this will go a long way in eventually winning your ex back. You are trying to make them feel like you are a more stable and independent person - and that is a quality that most people are drawn to.

Give it plenty of time. You may think about them every day but you don’t need to let them know about that for a while. If you do that, it may be too obvious to your ex that you are only interested in trying to get them back. Wait a couple weeks and then call them up or send them a message asking how things are going. Sound as much like an old friend as you can. Think about how old friends of yours have tried to get back in touch with you and do the same thing.

When/if they start talking, just let them talk. They will be more likely to be drawn to someone who values what they have to say and that may be a huge difference from the way things may have been before the relationship broke up. You may need them but let them get to a point where they value having you because you will listen to them. When you do this you may find that your ex needs you and is now trying to get you back.

After you have been able to keep this up and re-develop a friendship with your ex they may want to get back together with you; and while you may have considered yourself to be pursuing them, you might find yourself being pursued instead. It is also very likely that you won’t have to make the first move to get back with your ex either. It could very well turn out that they would rather do it themselves. The best way to get an ex back is to have them wanting to get YOU back.